🏌️‍♂️ Welcome to the Legendary Viniterra Golf Extravaganza! 🏌️‍♀️

This isn't just a golf tournament anymore; it's a saga! The scores are in, and the drama is thicker than the rough on the 18th hole.

Viniterra may be leading the charge with 50 points, but it's a one-man show! Deesh is a lone wolf out there, racking up points while the rest of his team is MIA. Will he get the backup he needs, or will his lead crumble under the pressure?

Mag G + Brandermill are hanging on at 32 points, but their 18-point cushion is as flimsy as a wet scorecard. They're playing a dangerous game of "keep Mondo honest," but a storm is brewing, and it's not a weather pattern.

Hanover 2, you beautiful underdogs at 27 points! Your strategy of "just keep playing bogey golf" is either genius or insane, but it's working. You're the dark horse we didn't know we needed, and we're all watching to see if you can pull off the upset.

But forget the teams—the real story is two men on a collision course. John K has been lurking in the shadows, and we're hearing whispers that he's got a staggering 30 points in the bag. He's a ticking time bomb, ready to explode onto the leaderboard and send everyone else scrambling for cover.

And then there's Tommy J, the ultimate wild card. He's been the quietest player on the course, but his silence is deafening. This isn't just a game to him—it's a mission. He's played the "dark horse" for too long, and now he's ready to show everyone what he's made of.

This isn't a tournament to just hear about; it's one you have to see to believe. Grab your popcorn and prepare for a nail-biting finish! This is going to be a finale for the ages.

🎉 Rules of the Game (and Life, Mostly Life)

🥅 Stableford Objective:

To accumulate as many points as humanly (or inhumanly) possible while maintaining some semblance of dignity, style, and not losing every single golf ball you own.  

PICK UP YOUR BALL AFTER NET DOUBLE BOGEY

🎯 Scoring System (Because We Like Numbers, and Laughter)

• Eagle (2 under par): 5 glorious points — channel your inner bird of prey or just swoop on the ball.

• Birdie (1 under par): 3 points — Be the bird, not the worm.

• Par: 2 points — The official "I Didn’t Completely Mess Up" score.

• Bogey: 1 point — Congratulations! You survived another hole.

Note: Anything worse than bogey gets zero points but bonus confidence.

🏠 Everyone Plays From the White Tees

Because we’re here for fun, not for the pro tour. Plus, it’s easier on our egos.

**Rich and Tommy are playing from the forward Tees.  

💃 Dress Code:

• Mandatory: Wear something with color. If you look in the mirror and think, “Is this too much?” — you’re probably good.

• No: Shower curtains, Halloween costumes, or pajamas. Unless you’re trying to distract your opponent.

• Optional: Hats, sunglasses, feather boas, or a tutu. The more ridiculous, the better.

(Prizes for best-dressed, real or imaginary.)

🍔 Snacks & Hydration:

• Hydrate! (Water, not tequila — although, no judgment.) 

• Bring snacks, but no: 

  • Giant turkey legs (save some for the knights).

  • 48 oz. energy drinks (save some for your heart).

  • Anything that could be mistaken for a weapon.

• Recommended snacks: Chewing gum, granola bars, and snacks that won’t leave you with a mouth full of regret.

🚶‍♂️ Ball Moving & Lie Improvisation

• You can move your ball one club length — but only:

  • Until your ball is on the green.

  • No sneaky spins or lying about "it was on a leaf," unless that leaf is really fashionable.

🎲 Net Scores & Handicap Hilarity

• Your Net Score = your gross score minus your handicap.

• Play smart, or just look like you’re trying to make golf interesting.

😇 Special Rules:

• Lost ball?

  • Search for 1 minute, then maybe cry a little, then drop a new one nearby, pretending it’s a “new hole-in-one ball”.

• Water hazards?

  • If your ball makes friends with the water, politely wave goodbye and drop a new one (optional: shout “Cannonball!”).

• Out-of-bounds?

  • Just tell everyone you’re “taking scenic photos” and drop your ball at the last spot you pretended was legal.

• All Markers are red markers

• The Vineyard on 1 is a free drop automatically - do not look for your ball.

• The trouble on the left side of 18 is a free drop IF you find your ball.  

🎉 Most Important Rule:

Have fun, mess around, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
The winner gets bragging rights until someone else better ruins it next year.

🏆 Extra Bonus:

• Prizes for:

  • On Hole 18 - 

    1. Closest to the Pin from anywhere off the green, and on any shot

    2. Longest Putt

• Skins

• Lowest Net

• Lowest Gross

🚨 Disclaimer:

All rules are optional, except for fun and laughter.
Failure to follow them results in hilarious shame, (optional but encouraged) awkward dance, or singing “I'm Too Sexy” at full volume.

Now, go forth!  Swing wildly, dress crazily, and make memories you'll forget to tell your grandkids about (or maybe don't)