Alright, golf enthusiasts and weekend warriors! Get ready for a day of laughs, questionable swings, and hopefully, some stellar shots at Magnolia Green!
Here's the lowdown on who's got what, where you're teeing it up, and how many strokes you're getting. Don't worry, even if your handicap looks like a phone number, we're all here to have a blast!Export to Sheets
Prepare for some epic camaraderie, questionable advice, and maybe even a few shanks together! Here are your illustrious groupings:
Group 1: Max and Raj (Viniterra A) – May the golf gods have mercy!
Group 2: Dan & PJ (Hanover 2A) with Mondo and Corey (Mag Green A) – Double the trouble, double the fun!
Group 3: Tommy & Allen (Hanover 1) with Mcvey and Nithin (Hanover 2B) – Get ready for some serious "friendly" competition.
Group 4: Deesh & Rich (Viniterra B) with Glen & James (Mag Green B) – The grand finale of golf greatness (or at least, effort)!
11:30 AM: Meet in the clubhouse. Find me, and we'll quickly go over the "rules" (mostly, try not to lose too many balls and don't blame your clubs). This is your last chance for coffee and questionable life choices before tee-off!
12:00 PM: TEE OFF TIME! Punctuality is next to golf-liness. Let's get those balls flying (hopefully forward)!
Beyond bragging rights, we've got some sweet incentives to make you try extra hard (or at least, look like you are):
Closest to the Pin: Win a Prize! (Bragging rights included.)
Lowest Net Score: Another fantastic Prize awaits! (Proof that sometimes, the math works in your favor.)
Lowest Number of Putts: A cool $20! Because who doesn't love tapping it in?
Longest Putt: Another $20 up for grabs! Show us your putting prowess!
1st Place Team: A whopping $50! Teamwork makes the dream work (and the cash flow)!
2nd Place Team: Still a respectable $30! Participation trophies are for kindergarten, this is real money!
1st Place Team: And another $10! (Yes, we know there are two "1st Place Team" prizes. Consider it a bonus mystery... or maybe just my terrible notes!)
Gross Score It! Write down your actual strokes on the scorecard. No funny business!
Holes 13-18: Buddy System! Just one score for both of you on these. Make it count (or at least, make it legible).
YOU MUST HOLE OUT ON EVERY HOLE!!! No "gimmes" from 10 feet out just because you're tired. We're playing real golf today, folks!
Good luck, hit 'em straight (or at least in the general direction of the green), and most importantly, have a fantastic time out there at Magnolia Green!
BRING $10 CASH FOR SIDE GAMES
WHEN: June 29
WHERE: Magnolia Green Golf Course - 7001 Awesome Dr, Moseley, VA 23120
TEE TIME: 12:06 PM (Arrive early for warm-ups and witty trash talk.)
DRESS CODE: Standard golf attire – bonus points for flair, automatic penalty strokes for denim.
🎉 YOU’RE INVITED TO A 3-FORMAT, 18-HOLE BATTLE ROYALE 🎉
Leave your dignity in the parking lot and bring your A-game (or at least your A+ excuses). This year’s tournament is not for the faint of heart or slow of play.
3 formats. 6 holes each. 1 day full of chaos.
- Both players tee off.
- Choose the best drive.
- From that spot, both play their own ball into the hole.
- Take the best score for the team.
*Translation: One good drive can save you both… briefly.*
- Both tee off.
- Then switch balls and play your partner’s tee shot for the second stroke.
- From that spot, both play that ball into the hole.
- Take the best score for the team.
*AKA: The “blame your partner” portion of the day.*
- One player tees off on 13, 15, 17.
- The other tees off on 14, 16, 18.
- Alternate shots until holed out.
*Pick your tee holes carefully… and maybe your teammate too.*
- Ball Movement: You may move your ball up to one club length… BUT no improving your lie. Fairway to fairway? Fine. Bush to green? Nope.
- Hole Everything Out: No gimmes. No “that’s good.” Putt it out like a grown-up.
- Mulligans? If you didn’t buy them ahead of time, you don’t get them.
- Lost Ball? Standard penalty stroke.
- All stakes are red stakes
- Cheating? Do it discreetly and with flair.
🥇 Top Team Overall Score - goes to the overall league standings
🎭 Longest Putt made - be gentlemen and figure it out
🤯 Biggest Blow-Up Hole
😈 and whatever come up with on the day $10 daily bet
Tiebreaker: Sudden-death chip-off. Judged harshly and publicly.
Let’s grip it, rip it, and pretend we’re better than we are.
See you on the tee box!
The Bhattalion Swingers Golf Committee (Now 36% more organized than last year.)