Meet The team

Welcome to BGS, where golf is technically the excuse — but everyone knows it’s really just an organized drinking event with occasional athletic interruptions.

This fearless bunch of hackers, hustlers, and hangover survivors takes to the course each week armed with cigars, coolers, and confidence that far exceeds their actual ability. Some of them can play. Others can barely spell “golf.” But together? Together they form a symphony of shanks, slices, and slurred swing advice that would make even John Daly raise an eyebrow.

They’ve got it all:

• The guy who swears he “used to be scratch” (twenty years and forty pounds ago).

• The overconfident bomber who hits one good drive and talks about it for six holes.

• The “strategic drinker” who keeps saying they play better buzzed — and somehow might be right.

• And yes, the one lady — the only responsible adult in the group, whose patience deserves sainthood status for tolerating this fraternity of functional degenerates.

The cigars burn long, the beers vanish fast, and the laughter echoes down the fairways like a pack of hyenas who just found a lost golf cart. They may not win many tournaments, but they dominate the "Spirit of the Game" category every damn time.

At the end of the day, they’ll stumble off the 18th green with sore backs, full hearts, and a group photo where at least three people are blinking — and that’s just the way they like it.

Because in BGS, the score doesn’t matter. The hangovers do.

BGS — Where every round’s a party, and golf just happens to be invited.

Rachel Shelton: Architect, Mom, and Golf's Reigning Queen of Chaos (Version 3.0)

Handicap: Currently under audit by the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Forgetting Important Personal Data Bureau.

Signature Drink: The "Gravel & Holmes" — a crisp white wine (or two... or three) consumed primarily to erase the memory of the last shot. It’s the closest she gets to an on-course mulligan.

The Rachel Shelton Story: She's an Overachiever, Even When Undercutting

By day, Rachel Shelton is a brilliant, award-winning architect, meticulously designing buildings that are structurally sound. By afternoon, she's designing a path of pure, unadulterated fun across 18 holes, which often involves a few structural deficiencies in her swing.

Rachel is genuinely a good golfer, though she considers her main role to be a professional-grade distraction and morale booster. She's got the wits, the caring spirit, and the unshakeable certainty that every missed putt is just a funny story waiting to happen. She approaches every round ready to party a little bit—the golf is just the setting for the highly anticipated wine tasting.

Why She's the Undisputed Team MVP (Most Valuable Partier):

• Financial Security: She's been known to be so focused on team bonding (and her Sauvignon Blanc research) that she completely forgets her own husband's phone number by the 18th hole. But put her near the bar, and her brain immediately accesses the deep-storage partition containing his credit card number with 100% precision. That, friends, is called prioritization.

• Architectural Analysis: She views water hazards not as obstacles, but as impromptu natural reflections on her life choices after the 12th hole.

• Commitment to the Team: She’s a great team player because, let's be honest, she's happy to be there, slightly buzzed, and not having to think about packed lunches or deadlines. Her primary goal is to ensure everyone has a blast, even if the scoreboard has to take a sobriety test.

Rachel Shelton: Proving you can be pretty, witty, and an excellent role model... right up until you have to call her a ride home.

Motto: "I only count the strokes that end in a good sip."

Craig Miller: Family Man, Super Fan, and Golf's Most Optimistic Underperformer

Handicap: Officially, a respectable number. In practice, it's a rapidly fluctuating scale based purely on the number of laughs per round.

Signature Drink: A cold beer, preferably consumed after miraculously finding his ball in the woods, or after a truly epic miss that he'll recount for weeks.

The Craig Miller Story: A Swing for the Soul (and the Sand Traps)

By trade, Craig is undoubtedly a professional, a super dad, and a devoted husband (the one whose phone number Rachel sometimes remembers). But on the golf course, he transforms into a beacon of pure, unadulterated enjoyment.

Craig is the guy you want on your foursome not because he's going to win the Masters, but because he's going to win your heart. He's incredibly friendly and supportive of his fellow golfers, offering sincere encouragement even when his own ball is contemplating a career as a squirrel's winter stash.

With a good handicap on paper, Craig often approaches the course with the best of intentions, but his "bed performance on the golf course" is legendary. He can hit a shot so pure it'll make you weep, only to follow it up with one that defies the laws of physics (and geometry). Yet, his genuine joy never wavers; he just wants to have fun. Every round is an adventure, a chance to connect with friends, enjoy the outdoors, and maybe, just maybe, hit one decent shot that he'll talk about until next Tuesday.

Craig Miller: Proving that you don't need to be low on the leaderboard to be high on life (or a great partner for Rachel Shelton's post-game antics).

Motto: "My best shots are the ones I tell stories about. My worst ones? Those are just part of the story."

Craig Shelton: The Ginger Fury, Golf’s Smiling Assassin

Handicap: Low enough that he still wakes up in a cold sweat thinking about that one 79 he shot back in '08.

Signature Weapon: The "Laser Beam Drive." He hits the ball so ridiculously long and straight, it occasionally travels back in time to fix his college major choices.

The Craig Shelton Story: Attack Mode, Engaged

Craig Shelton is a deceptively dangerous man. He arrives on the tee box with a genuine, infectious smile and a funny joke, offering a warm handshake and a genuinely caring vibe... but don't be fooled. Underneath that reddish hair is a highly calibrated, competitive machine.

Craig doesn't just play golf; he's ready to attack the course like a highly paid corporate raider. He sees a 500-yard par 5 as a personal insult that must be crushed. When he steps up to the ball, he is no longer your friend; he is your relentless, very good golfer nemesis.

His ball is so long and straight that most of his rounds are spent waiting for his opponents to trudge up the fairway just to confirm their own defeat. He is the master of the "Friendly Competitive Gloat"—the guy who sinks a 40-foot birdie putt and then looks at you with a completely straight face and says, "Sorry, I thought that was for par."

Craig Shelton: Proving that the most dangerous golfers are the ones who make you laugh while they're burying your score.

Motto: "I'm smiling because I just calculated the exact moment I'm going to take your money."

Jameel "The Deferral" Moses: IT Pro, Poker Shark, Golf Disaster

Jameel Moses. A man who operates in two drastically different worlds. By day, he's a highly sought-after IT professional, calmly solving network crises. By night (and weekends), he's the charming, witty, and frankly, electrifyingly bad golfer who will single-handedly inflate the economy of lost golf balls.

Jameel is the definition of debonair. Always impeccably dressed, always armed with a killer smile and a witty one-liner that has more ladies swooning than his actual golf swing has birds scattering. He's a legendary ladies' man—a true gentleman who will always open the car door... right before shank-ing his drive into the car park.

On the course, he's known as "The Deferral," because his ball flight patterns defy physics and perpetually delay the group behind him. His signature move is the "Moses Split"—where his divot goes further than the ball, often accompanied by a dramatic, yet fully justified, oath. He has never met a sand trap he didn't want to get intimately acquainted with.

Off the course, however, Jameel is pure gold. He's an unbeatable poker player, turning his erratic golf judgment into shrewd, calculated card moves. You want him in your poker game; you do not want him on your golf team. He enjoys his drinks—a perfectly crafted old fashioned or three—and is the first to buy a round to celebrate... well, anything other than a par.

Jameel Moses: A wild guy who brings fun and energy everywhere he goes. He's the most loyal friend you could ask for, whether you need a wingman, a high-stakes poker backer, or just someone to laugh with as he three-putts from two feet.

Handicap: Officially 28. Realistically? The number of the nearest emergency service.

Favorite Club: The bar stool.

Motto: "I might not hit the fairway, but I always hit the jackpot."

John "Where'd That Go?" Hutchinson: The Enigma of the Fairway

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and most importantly, anyone searching for their lost ball in the rough... allow us to introduce the man, the myth, the legend (in his own mind): John Hutchinson!

John arrived on the golf scene much like his tee shots – with a sudden, unexpected appearance, a brief moment of airborne mystery, and then... absolute silence. No one quite knows where John comes from, what he does for a living, or even if "Hutchinson" is his real last name. All we know is he shows up, usually with a slightly askew cap and an unshakeable optimism that defies all laws of physics and golf etiquette.

His swing is a marvel of kinetic energy, often described as "a windmill fighting a tornado... with a club." He's the only golfer who can simultaneously hit a slice, a hook, and a worm burner, all from the same stance. His short game involves more prayers than actual putts, and his bunker play is less about getting out of the sand and more about rearranging the entire landscape.

Despite his scores often resembling phone numbers from a distant land, John is perpetually cheerful. He's never met a bad shot he couldn't instantly forget, or a good shot (theoretically, if one were to occur) he couldn't exaggerate into an epic tale for the 19th hole. He's been known to consult with squirrels for course advice, offer philosophical insights to his golf ball ("You can do it, little guy!"), and occasionally declare "I meant to do that!" after hitting a tree.

John Hutchinson: He might not be winning any majors, but he's certainly winning the award for most baffling trajectory. He’s the reason golf courses have "Lost & Found" bins. He's also the reason why everyone else on the course feels like a PGA pro in comparison. Just don't ask him about his handicap—he claims it's a "state secret."

Known For: His uncanny ability to find water on courses without water features.

Signature Move: The "Hutchinson Hover"—where he watches his ball, then slowly turns to his playing partners with a look that says, "Did anyone else see what just happened, because I'm genuinely baffled."

Favorite Golf Proverb: "It's not about how you drive, it's about how you arrive... at the clubhouse bar."